From Air Force to Helping Homeless Veterans Find Their Mission

Speaker labels and mis-heard names are corrected by hand; the words are as spoken, filler and all.

PJ: Welcome to the Prize podcast. We have TJ Carson with us. Tom for those who who don't know him. My name is Dan. Tend to go by PJ. I'm the CEO of Prize and we are going to deliver you content based on uh the transition out of the military. So Tom, hey, thanks for coming.

TJ: Hey, thanks brother. Appreciate you, dude.

PJ: Absolutely. Um so Tom TJ is an Air Force veteran. Um how long were you in?

TJ: Eight years.

PJ: Eight years. Okay. When did you get out?

TJ: I was served from 2003 to 2011.

PJ: Okay, cool. Cool. And um he he's currently the executive director of Victory House in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. Um he's been in Victory House for nine years.

TJ: Yeah.

PJ: At least that's what your LinkedIn says.

TJ: Yeah. Yeah. No, well, I started as an intern.

PJ: Okay.

TJ: So, I interned there, then I was a case manager and then um I left for like a year and then came back and worked as pretty much every position, program director, associate executive director. Yeah. Finance Connor rules, executive director.

PJ: I love it. In and out nine years. Yeah. So, executive director for three years now.

TJ: Yeah. or calling three. Yeah, I think it was 2025. Yeah, 2022, I think, is when I took over.

PJ: Nice. Yeah. And for those who don't know who Victory or what Victory House is, and I'll let you do a better explanation, but they they provide um housing and shelter for for um homeless veterans, right? Um and they're coming up on 40 years of operation, April, which is amazing. And then you also have a small business called Flip It Collectibles.

TJ: Collectibles. Yeah. Like I like it. Been doing that my whole life. So, yeah.

PJ: All right. Nice. Well, hey, welcome.

TJ: Thank you.

PJ: Um, so let's just jump right in if you don't mind.

TJ: No, let's go.

PJ: Let's uh I would love for you to tell me like how you came to be who you are. Like I want to hear about, you know, how you got to joining the military, your your um experience in the military and then out and how you got to be, you know, executive director of Victory House.

TJ: Yeah, let's let's do it. Um, so I'm a Lehigh Valley native. I was born in Allentown. Um, went to uh Moser Elementary School, South Mountain Middle School. Um, William Allen High School. Um, got into sports. I played sports when I was younger. Um, met a lot of good people through that. Uh, that I still continue to talk to today. Um, but when I was in high school, I had a normal life, you know, and then nothing nothing crazy. We lived in some some lower uh, you know, um, you know, some pretty bad neighborhoods.

Um, but nothing to the point where it was like, you know, I didn't have a supportive family around me. I didn't have supportive friends. cuz it was just kind of a normal life. Um, so I went to I went to William Allen High School and I was a techie. I did vo-tech while I was there and I worked in uh auto body collision repair.

PJ: Oh, cool.

TJ: And then when 9/11 happened, um, I really my interest sparked for the military. It was it was a big major event and it was something I said, you know what, I I I really want to go serve my country. Um, so I got to the time where I was getting ready to graduate and I didn't really know what where I wanted to do with my life. I wasn't really too keen on going and doing auto body and I had this want to serve my country at the same time.

Uh, so I walked over to the recruiter's office. Um, it was in Allentown and I told him I said, you know, like to join the Air Force. Uh, I picked the Air Force because my dad was a Marine and um, he actually recommended something other than the Marines. Sorry.

PJ: I heard similar things, man.

TJ: Sorry, PJ,

PJ: but I just didn't listen.

TJ: Yeah, he uh he recommended, you know, something different, either Army or Air Force. And um, I I had a background in like auto body collision repairs and I said, you know what, maybe I'll join the Air Force and I could do maintenance on the aircraft or something like that. So, I enrolled um into the uh delayed entry program and I did my ASVAB and all that and um they basically put me into what was called like open mechanics. So, meaning that there I would be able to secure um my AFSC, which is basically your job in the military um under some type of mechanics position.

Um, so I went in and um I got what was called aerospace ground equipment. Um, and I went to basic training and then we went we went to like a year-long tech school and um eventually I found myself uh stationed at Barksdale Air Force Base after um Texas's training regiment. Um I was in San Antonio for basic uh Sheppard Air Force Base for um the AIT is what um you know I know other branches call it for us to call the tech school. Yeah. Yeah. Uh but then I ended up in Barksdale Air Force Base, Louisiana, which was a totally different world for me than Allentown, Pennsylvania.

Um let's just say that it was very outdoors. You know, basically everybody there was into fishing and hunting and that wasn't something that I grew up on. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, it was a totally different environment for me. Um, but I met a lot of good people while I was there. Um, and started my career off, you know, working with aerospace ground equipment. And then I've been to, uh, Guam on a beautiful deployment, um, which was absolutely place to be deployed at. I did a year in in Osan Air Force Base, Korea.

Um, and I also uh finished my career up at Langley Air Force Base in Virginia, which was another totally different environment from Barksdale and uh Korea because in uh Virginia um you're basically saluting all day. Like there was just so much brass, right? You spent the time saluting all day long, which I really wasn't used to. So, but um it was a beautiful Air Force career. Um, you know, I I learned a lot of lessons in the military which I still um utilize today. Um, but what I miss most about it is the camaraderie, man.

The the guys that you're around um that you're you're willing to go through it with, you know, no matter what. Um, you know, the the people had your backs and um it was it was just some good camaraderie and missed the guys a lot. So, and and grace.

PJ: Yeah, I understand that. I understand that. When did you get up?

TJ: 2011, uh, November. I actually went in on Veterans Day. That was my first That was

PJ: Did you really?

TJ: Yeah. I spent Veterans First day in the military was Veterans Day. Um, and I remember hopping off the aircraft and and getting there and and putting my foot on, you know, you had to put your feet in the little block and and on Veterans Day just getting by all the TI's that were on base and trying to break you down and everything. So, it was pretty cool. And then, um, I got out uh in 2011. Uh, I did two tour two enlistments. So I did one full enlistment and then uh I decided that you know I was like I still really don't know what I want to do with my life.

So I ended up uh you know reinlisting for another four years and then at 8 years I had to make that decision like okay do I do another four and then I got to commit for the 20 because I'm eight years away or do I get out at 8 and make a commitment to to to really this new chapter of life this new thing and um I I decided at 8 that you know it was time to get out and and and work on my my new self, my new life.

And um what people don't realize um that aren't part of the military is that what that's basically what you're doing. You're creating a new life. Yeah. You're you're you're keeping some of the things that you learn, but when you exit, it's a new life. It's you know, the military installations are basically their own cities. You know, you go there, you have your you have your um you know, your your PX, I guess is what Army and Marine call it. BX is what we called it. But you have your gas station on base, you got your gym, like everything's on base.

So like it's a whole, you know, it's a whole city basically. And um people tell you what time you go to work, people tell you what time you got to work out, people, you know, all that stuff. So getting out is is is a whole new life. And and um you know, I made that decision in 2011. I was going to get out and and basically start over and I did. So that's really how I got back here from, you know, my experience in the military.

PJ: So, and you came right back here when you were done.

TJ: I did. Yeah. I came back home. Um, I actually uh I actually struggled while when I got out of the military. I um got in a really bad relationship and uh I ended up spending a lot of my money and and I didn't have much. I I literally had like a couple hundred dollars in my account and I got out of the military and and I was literally one no away from becoming homeless. So that's what where my ties are pretty much to the homeless community is um you know I could see how somebody who you know the the the family and everybody admired that can struggle from you know just that separation alone.

So I was in a bad relationship and things didn't work out with that um that girl I was dating and uh I came home with almost nothing and luckily for me I got one yes that really changed my life. You know, my mom um allowed me to move into her basement and it wasn't it wasn't like nowadays you see these basements that are fully done. There's in-law sleeps in there. I was like, "No, it was like a basement basement." She had a couch down there and like a small separate room next to like the washer and dryer room where um you know there was a couch TV and you know small little little room and that was it you know.

So I went there and um after months and months and months of you know feeling sorry for myself and really not doing much with my life I made a decision and I said you know what it's it's it's time it's time I I I I put my foot forward and and do something with myself. up. That's when I decided to enroll in school. And um so I enrolled I literally like thought what's the easiest cuz back then my mindset was so broke like I was thinking of what's the easiest thing I could do, you know, when when when you look at things and what's the easiest thing I could do and be okay at that.

So I was like the easiest thing I can do I can think of right now of you know my transition from the military life to um the civilian life was be a police officer probation officer right I already have experience doing security on the flight line I worked a little bit with um the security forces crew I was what's called an augmente where I did some things there and I said well that I I know how to you know shoot a firearm I said you know that should be a pretty decent transition and typically you police um law enforcement is military hires.

They hire a lot of military really fast. So I said, you know what? I'm going to go ahead. I'm going to get an associates degree in criminal justice. And so that was my plan. I was like, I'm going to get an associates degree in criminal justice. And um I I'm like literally reminiscing right now from

PJ: Yeah, man.

TJ: This happened I rolled into uh the criminal justice program at Northampton Community College and um I was just it was I don't know what it was about it but maybe it was just because of the military but everything was so easy for me like all the exams like I felt like I I didn't really have to put much effort towards it and they were just like super easy for me all the criminal justice courses. So I was like wow this is pretty cool. Um, and while I was there, I um did a a pro an adopt an apartment.

I think it was at it was either at Penn State or or or um Knack. I can't remember which one it was, but I did an adopt an apartment um project where I helped out a homeless family. And on this project, we went in and we literally, it was an empty apartment and we set up the apartment. We set up their pantry. We we made their beds like, "Oh, that's hospital corners on their bed." It was just a beautiful thing for this homeless family, woman and her two kids.

And um finally the at the end when we set this whole thing up, we got to meet the people that we were helping and this lady came in with her little daughter and and and her daughter was like running around this little small tiny apartment and her face was just so lit up and and there was like this this box on the floor. I think it was like a dresser drawer or something. And she's like, "Mom, is that is that where I'm sleeping?" She's like, "No, sweetie.

You have your own bed." and like this girl's face and this girl jumping around so excited about having her own bed. Wow. Man, this feels good. Like this is awesome. Like the the appreciation and and and you know the gratitude for something that I take for granted and most people take for granted like having just a place to sleep, you know, I said, "Man, this this is this is an amazing feeling right here." I said, "I'm going to chase this." So, I ended up leaving the criminal I ended up graduating with my degree in criminal justice.

Um, but I said, you know, there's more I can do. So, I kind of put the the goal of becoming a probation officer aside and I, um, enrolled in rehabilitation and human services at Penn State, which is just crazy to me because at 18 years old, if you would have told me that I was going to go to Penn State University, I would have been like, "No, what?" Well, just because at that time I was looking, you know, as as being a mechanic and and and I didn't really have a lot of uh like um you know, I I didn't really have like the the math courses.

I didn't I didn't really feel that I was smart enough to kind of do all those type of things. The courses that I took in high school were just the basics that, you know, to get by and and I really exceeded at, you know, the mechanical type of stuff. Mhm. So like then when I went to college, you know, I was I was a techie that went straight into the Air Force. So when they told me I had to do algebra 2 and and all these crazy English courses and and and all these other things, I I I was basically start from scratch.

Yeah. But one thing um the military had taught me is that, you know, sometimes you got to put in extra work to get the results that you want. So I remember struggling with like algebra. I think it was like an algebra 2 or something and I remember the professor and I had no clue on how to do any of that because I don't even remember taking an algebra course in high school and that was pre 10 years ago. You know what I mean? Like so I remember talking to him and and being like I I'm a lost professor.

I don't know I don't know what I'm doing. I'm trying my best here but it's just not setting with me. And he said I'll tell you what. He's like come see me before classes and then come see me after and I'll help you with all this. So I did. I said all right cool. like this guy's offering his time to to coach me and train me, which is we'll probably talk about later on, which is so important to find people in your life that that are willing to coach you and help you out with different things.

Yeah. Um, but I met with him and and he he helped me, you know, he helped me from from the most basics to the uh to the end and I ended up, you know, I think I ended up getting like a beast plus or something in that class, which was crazy cuz I couldn't figure anything out, you know, before I started working with him, before I started basically coaching with him. And and then I ended up graduating the class with a with like a B+. And um I ended up, you know, doing really well in college. I think it was like a 3.8 eight GPA.

PJ: Nice, man.

TJ: Something like that, which is crazy because I was a techie, you know, and I went into the military. Um, so I did really well in college. Um, and then it came time to graduate. And before graduation, the cool thing about Penn State, um, the program that I was in is they had an internship program that was very in-depth. It was a 40-hour work week and I think it was for like 3 months or something like that.

PJ: It's like the co-op center, right?

TJ: It was it was well I don't I yeah I guess kind of it was whatever their I mean it was a 40-hour work week and and you had to do the whole semester there which was really cool. Um so I was trying to figure out what I wanted to do and I was like man I really want to chase this feeling of helping out the homeless. I said this this felt great and I said I still feel like I can help my brothers and sisters as well.

So, I legally Googled Lehigh Valley veterans homelessness and what popped up was Victory House of Lehigh Valley. So, I made a phone call. I said, "Hey, I'm I'm getting ready to do my internship. I'm from Penn State University and I found you online and and I uh I was wondering if if I can come do an internship." And he's like, "Yeah, the the executive director at the time, Pat, uh he's like, "Yeah, come on in." and he's like, "So, I came in and and I uh interviewed with them and um he offered me the internship on the spot." Um, for me, this is how God works.

Things just fall into place. Um, for me, it was a beautiful thing because I started off working with a case manager that was there training and then she had to go out of medical leave.

PJ: Oh, wow.

TJ: Yeah. She had to go out of medical leave. So, um, they were like, "Hey, like we need a case manager. You're doing a really good job here." um would you be interested in taking over her position until she returns and we'll pay you? And I'm like, "Oh, snap. I paid position. I did this. I'm a good school." So, um you know, he he put me on as a temporary case manager and and they paid me to do case management with clients. And um I did that until it was time for her to return.

And then when when she returned um I ended up accepting a position, uh doing case management for veterans. um in a drug and alcohol facility and um I ended up working with vets there and I was a very on the ground case manager where I would go out in the community and I would get to learn all these different programs and really really put a basically put a resource binder together of all these ways that I could help people. Um because I I realized earlier in my career that I didn't have to do everything on my own.

Yeah. I realized that case management, but really any business, any nonprofit, any thing out there is really about having resources available, knowing who to call, knowing the right people, knowing how to get people, you know, their end goals and what they want. And um, you know, like like like Jordan and Pippen, Jordan didn't have to do everything himself. It's great. He could do everything himself, right? From the day, like you know, he he didn't have to. at Pippen and Robin and all those people that had specific design jobs that got them championships.

Yes. So, like I realized that I said, you know, I I I realized I didn't have to do it all myself. I realized I could reach out to some of the people who specify in drug and alcohol to help me with the drug and alcohol issues. I realized I could reach out to people who are specifically there for mental health issues that can help people with mental health. So, I was really just a navigator. I was the best at making assists, you know, so bad basketball terms, you know, good at saying you could take care of this, you could take care of this, and then um I was just kind of putting everything together on a sheet, you're using this for this, and this this um you know, I I did really well.

I made a lot of great connections in the community. I I've always believed in not burning bridges. Um and always always had a good relationship with Victory House. So, one day I was actually When I was at Treatment Trends, we started a brand new program called the Center of Excellence and I was their first hire for that. Um, when I got there, it was literally like an empty office and they were delivering the desks and all these other things and I was like, I just might as well I made this background.

I start putting these together. So, like I was literally putting the desk together as this new case manager for this new program that they started called the center of excellence. So, full transparency if the desks fell apart or the chairs fell Sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, it is what it is. But um we put this program together called the center of excellence where we were helping people out that were in the in the struggle of the opioid crisis. So, you know, this was and my years may be a little off, but I want to say this was around like 200 uh 200 1617 um where clients were coming up to our door that just used um and our job was to get them assessments and get them into treatment and then be there for them for the followup, provide case management, all that stuff.

So, we were like on the grounds treatment like the first stop that they made. We would interview the chronic clients and we would even provide some transportation to guys into the treatment facilities. I remember doing assessments with people in the hospitals like really on the ground really at their worst point we were there trying to get them help. So one day I was walking up into work getting ready to for my day and and I received a phone call from the old program director at Victory House and um she's like h I'm moving to Florida.

And I was like okay. I was like, "Well, congratulations. You know, that's that's awesome." And started talking to her and um she said, "Well, the reason why I'm calling you is I'm trying to see if you'd be interested in my job." And I was like, "Oh, wow. I always loved Victory House. It was a it was a step forward in my career. You know, it was a it wasn't just a lateral move. It was a step up." And um I said uh yeah, I'd definitely be interested in I I hate to leave what I'm you know doing now and and what we've started but I I understand that you know opportunities come and you got to seize those opportunities which is the big thing for the people that are going to be listening is you know when opportunities show you sometimes they're very fearful but those who jump are those who typically end up in places that they want to be.

Yep. So you know the opportunity occurred. She said hey would you interview for my job? And I said yeah. So, I set up an interview with the executive director that I interviewed with for my um internship and um you again. Yeah. Literally on the spot. He offered me the job. He said, "Lo, we've worked with you as an intern. You did a fantastic job." He said, "I I love the skills that you built in case management and he said, "We've been following you because I was using Victory House as one of my providers for when I had guys that left treatment.

I'd call Victory House and say, "Hey, do you have a bed available? I want to I think this guy would be a really good fit for your program. It's it's structured. He needs the structure. He needs the supports. And I would use Victory House as my housing provider for the guys that were leading rehabs. Uh so I always kept a good relationship and that and like I said before, that's been a key for me in in my growth is securing relationships with people and not ruining them.

Mhm. Um because I see a lot of people in this field that burn a lot of bridges and and and it gets very difficult to help our clients if your bridge is burnt in several different areas.

PJ: Absolutely.

TJ: Um so there on the spot he offered me a job. He said, "Hey, I think you'd be a great fit here." He's like, "You know, I I see what you've been doing and um I really like the things that you're doing for the clients, but I also, you know, I I like how you've been building programs and helping them grow." And I said, "Yeah." So he offered me a job. I I took the position. Um I got like a week of training or something. The the pro and it was kind of weird cuz I kept the position that I had at the same time and then came in really early in the morning to train with the program director that was getting ready to leave cuz she was already planning on going to Florida.

So there was a very short time period that, you know, I had available for training. Um but again, going back to the military, sometimes you got to change your hours. Sometimes you got to do what needs to be done to to get the job done. I don't know how many times we ended up, you know, working 12, 14 hours to to fix a generator that was down to get it back on the fly line so we can get the aircraft. Yep. You know, on on when we're, you know, in MOPP 4 in Korea and and the sirens go off, like you ain't going home.

So, like those are things I learned in the military that really helped me in my career. So, I put some extra hours in. I did both jobs um in a training capacity for the one and then in an exiting capacity for the other. So I had to help out the the staff that was coming on there. And eventually I I took over as the program director at Victory House. Um and while I was there, we've um while I was in the program director position, um we've done a lot of great things.

Um, one of the one of the things is, you know, um, bolstering our our drug and alcohol program uh, to help the clients that are relapsing. At one point in this field, a lot of the organizations would discharge people to the street as soon as they would relapse. And um, you know, the the thought behind that was you you know, they're going to make all the other people relapse, but that's not really the case. Um, yeah. Yeah. My thing was I said, "Well, I've already got all these connections in getting people into treatment.

Like, why not use them to get people that relapse into treatment?" So, we started some new policies, um, which at the time didn't go over too well with, you know, the current people that we had because we we had everybody doing the same thing for so many years, you know. So, I talked to him and I said, "Look," I said, I said, "Just trust me on this." I said, "This will be something that will will really benefit our program, but most importantly, benefit our clients." I said, "Because, you know, if somebody leaves here and they end up, you know, overdosing in the street and we didn't even offer them help with that, then we're all going to feel bad and it's something that that I don't think anybody should take with them.

Um, so we started some policies and started some programming where we um used the connections that we had to get people into treatment faster. Uh, so when a client relapsed, we would meet with them, we'd offer them different opportunities. Um, the first and foremost is to get a drug and alcohol evaluation. Like go see a a specialist that can actually do an evaluation on you and seeing if you meet criteria for some sort of treatment. And that went that worked out very well. We still do that to this day.

Um, we when somebody relapses, we we don't dis discharge them without offering them some sort of solution, offering him some sort of help. Not all clients take that help, which is okay. Um, but we offer it to them, you know. Um, and then we ended up getting uh I ended up hiring what's called a certified recovery specialist uh on staff, which is somebody that is in drug and alcohol recovery. Um, that can kind of show the guys the ropes, kind of help the guys with whatever it is, their triggers.

Um, and somebody that's been through it that can explain like, I've been through this. I've been in your shoes. Um, this is what helped me. Um, and this is what can help you. So yeah, we we started with that program and did a good job. Then we brought mental health um mental health uh from Northampton County on board and we've started serving clients with um certain types of mental health issues and um yeah, now Victory House. So so we serve we we are known um historically for serving veterans.

Um we we have uh the only currently the only Grant and Per Diem program in the Lehigh Valley for um from the Department of Veterans Affairs. So we're contracted with that. But we also have a non veterans component that a lot of people don't really know about. Uh where we serve our non- veterans as well, but we're historically known for um we specialize in veterans treatment. You know, I'm a veteran. A lot of our board of directors are veterans. Um one of the ones is on this p was on this podcast a couple weeks ago.

PJ: Chris.

TJ: Yeah. Yeah. So, we're heavily veteran focused, but um we do serve non veterans as well, which I feel really helps out our non veteran population because I task our veterans at Victory House to really be leaders. Short end because I think that's one of one of the things that veterans forget about like leadership. That's one of the the things that we can be for our community, be for our society. Um and I have a a quote that I've said plenty of times and I I tell our guys, leaders create leaders.

PJ: Absolutely.

TJ: Once you lead by example, I said other people are going to see that and follow you. So, if you're making your bed every day, if you're going to your meetings, if you're if you're taking care of chores and and and and you're helping out others, people are going to see that and they're going to gravitate towards you and they're going to want to help out others. So, um, that's one of the big things I see at Victory House. That's a lot different than the other programs, um, in the area is that our goal is really to create leaders and then have them lead others and shine their lights and get other people out there to to really join our mission, which is to to to help um, you know, help our homeless community succeed.

That's really what we want to do. That's really where we're at. Um, I have previous clients that are working at other shelters at the moment. I have current clients that are working at other shelters at the moment. I have, um, previous clients that are on our board of directors. I have previous clients that are working for drug and alcohol. Uh, I have pre previous clients that are working at, um, healthc care facilities, St. Luke's, and like they're everywhere. Um, and it's a beautiful thing to see that.

It's a beautiful thing to see somebody that received assistance um and now that are out there helping others. Mhm. Um it's just it's it's a very rewarding um to to see somebody change their life and and continue to walk down that path after they've been hitten by so many you know uh so many issues, so many stones while they were out there in the struggle. So yeah, that's kind of my story a little soon. I know went on a lot and didn't let you speak much.

PJ: No. Hey, I'm not I'm not here to speak.

TJ: Yeah, you are.

PJ: Um, brother, there is there is so much goodness there. Um, and oh man, I'm kind of struggling to figure out like where to go next with that. Um, you know, you you've just you've talked about a couple of key moments, you know, that like helped as as like a segue into like a next chapter of your life that that I think is incredible. Um you know like one being that you know getting out you had this really bad relationship and it sent you down this path albeit downwards right at first right but that's a defining moment you know and and it shaped you in ways

TJ: 100%. Yeah. Yeah. It's it's 100% shaped me. It's so funny cuz like I I remember at that time I like I can't believe this happened to me. I can't believe this happened to me. You when you're down you don't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Like you're just like oh man like it's like everything's closed off and you don't see what could be. And you know there's and I know there's a lot of like podcasters out there that that have said this quote before, but it is so true. Things don't happen to you, they happen for for you.

PJ: Yep. Yep. Yep.

TJ: things don't really and I didn't see that at the time and there's been times even to this day I don't see it don't know why certain things happen but somehow somewhere or another you know things so far in my life God has always had my back and always figured out a way to to to to make whatever happened so much better in the long run when he is just just a beautiful thing. Um well now I get to help out those that were in the already which is really dope.

PJ: Yeah. Well, but I guess that's, you know, kind of what I'm getting at is is like our our brains are meant to like generalize, delete, and and um and uh filter, right? Like we can't literally see everything. Our brains literally don't have that capacity. So, when we're in that sort of a mindset where it's really really tough, it's hard for us to pull our heads out and be like, "Wow, yeah, that sucked. However, that was such a key point in my life that helped shape, you know, like you probably and I couldn't, who knows? But you might not be here if it weren't for that really terrible experience up front, right?

TJ: 100%. Yeah. I mean, there's so many there's so many things that could have went different directions. Yeah. In in my life that um Yeah. Exactly. I mean, I I I may not, you say, I very well couldn't might not have been here if I had chose to go a different path or if I didn't make that choice to um you know, go back to school or like you said, if if I hung around yet at it was in uh Bethesda, Maryland when when I was going through that relationship and like there's so many different things or I mean vice versa, you know, maybe maybe on the flip end if I didn't make that decision that I wanted to change my life at the 8year point, you know, I could I I might not be here, you know.

And um it's it's interesting to me and and one of the things is like I always I I never realized that like my service to like my service would come more outside of the military than it's been in the military cuz like I joined to serve my country and I did I did honorably you know I served for eight years but I can really honestly say that this last eight years I've served I believe I've served my country my community and the veterans that way possibly if I would have stayed in the military to serve your community.

I think a lot of people forget about that. You know, there thank you for your service doesn't have to only go out to military members. Thank you for your service can go out to the people that are are are out there that are working the human service fields, people that you know are protecting you like police officers and everything. Um, you know, when you say people when you see people out there, you know, handing out food to the homeless community, when you see people out there that are working with people who struggle with mental health problems or whatever, like don't forget to thank them as well.

PJ: Absolutely.

TJ: They're serving people. But I think that thank you for your service really only happens for people that they know that are military veterans and and it it should expand farther a lot farther than that cuz I know people that's dedicated their entire lives to helping others. Um you know there's plenty of people in our field in human services that's been doing it for 20 30 years in a b and and and beyond. So um you know don't forget to thank them for their service as well when you see somebody doing something nice and and appreciate them.

PJ: Yeah. Well, it sounds like you've had an incredible like ripple effect with what you're doing and and I I agree with you like a real leader creates leaders, you know, like that is that is a true mark of a leader and there's a lot of books. I'm It's not like I'm making this stuff up, right? There's a lot of books on this, right? We've read them all. We've read them all, right? Um but but it's a beautiful point. Um if if you're able to go out and actually mold other people to go out and make a difference, I mean, like that's a true mark of a leader, man. Um you're inspiring me. So, thank you.

TJ: Thank you. I appreciate it.

PJ: Um, and I also again to kind of touch on that point though of like being able to take something that was a trial in your life and be able to pull the good from it is an incredible skill that I I think that we actually do get a bit of in the military. Um, because a lot of it does suck. Yeah. Um, and being able to pull the goods out from that. I challenge you all to figure out ways to do that. I think it's a pat is it Patton that said embrace the suck?

TJ: Embrace the suck, man.

PJ: But it's so true. There's so many learnings in there.

TJ: There is. Yeah. Yeah. And it's it's it's it's like, you know, and and it's it's 100% true because like and like we just talked about with the situation like even you look at basic training, you know, it's very traumatic, right? Very traumatizing. Yes. a lot of things that you go through that um nor the normali civilian population didn't have to go through, but they might have gone through at some different point in their lives. But I look back on basic and I look back on all the issues that I had in the military and I'm like, "Wow, like that was that was pivotal in the person that I became.

Yeah, it sucked at the time. Yeah, I didn't want to be in MOPP 4 sweating and and you know, yeah, I didn't want to be stuck in a dorm with 50 other guys for, you know, a month or whatever it was." And but at the end of the day, like you know, I learned a lot. I I one of the best things that I think happened to the for me while I was in the military was getting to to communicate with so many different people. Yeah.

You know, like Yeah. I was a I was from the Lehigh Valley and I you know, kind of like a shelter. I only knew Lehigh Valley people. You know, when I went in the military, I I remember there was a guy in our our platoon that was from Italy. There was guys from all over the country. There was different accents and they ate different foods and there was just all kinds of kinds of, you know, difference which was just such a beautiful thing.

PJ: Yes, it is. You know, it's a blessing for sure.

TJ: Yeah. So, like you you know, you you get to communicate with so many different people and get to love each other and um you know, like like you know, build some bonds, you know, it's good. It's you know, something I miss. Like I said, it was it was good to build those bonds, but it was also cool because we got to uh you know, get to know different people, different cultures and Mhm. which I think is kind of, you know, one of the reasons why, you know, um, you know, DEI is also important because you get to work with different cultures.

You get to understand different things. You get to, you know, work with different type of people who think differently than you that that have different um, you know, morals and all that kind of stuff.

PJ: Well, I mean, that's one of the big reasons our country is as beautiful and great as it is. It's a melting pot, right?

TJ: Exactly. Yeah.

PJ: We have all of these different perspectives and there's a lot of evidence that shows when you have different perspectives, you're able to be more innovative.

TJ: 100%. And I've said this too with like hiring and and developing my team. I said, I don't want someone that thinks like me got me. I don't want someone that thinks differently than me that's that that's that's going to bring different perspectives and bring different views and um you know come up with different ideas because my brain can only go so far and when you have multiple uh brains all focused on one mission that are coming up with different ways is really when growth occurs. Mhm.

So, and I think that's a good that's a big reason why we've been able to be so successful for the last 40 years is because we've been we've had different types of perspectives and different type people that that can bring, you know, their experience and their um their views to the table and we can work out something together that's the best benefit for our clientele.

PJ: So, I like this. Um I want to shift a little bit here. You know, there's kind of kind of on this note of of being in the moment and um and also being able to look back and reflect on on different aspects and and how what something actually means at the time verse verse later, you know, like so when you were in the process of getting out, you were you were going through that, like what was your primary focus? What did you perceive at that time as your biggest challenge?

TJ: Um going back home with nothing. M although I had plenty, I at that moment in my life, I perceived that I had nothing. So here's the deal. Like when I got out of the military, I looked at all my friends. I looked at my families. I looked at my family and I looked at all these people and and I said, "Wow, like that person started their own family already. They got their own house. They got a good career. They got all these things." So I started doing something that I don't recommend to anybody is I started judging myself based on what other people were doing and bas well based what I um comparison to compared to what other people were doing.

But I realized now in my life that a lot of times and this is when social media was just really coming out. Social media is not always a reality but 100%. I um perceived that everybody had all their stuff together and I didn't. So here I was at close to 30 getting out of the military looking around and I seen everybody seem to have their life together and I'm like man I'm literally start from nothing you know I have no money I have no relationship. I have no family.

I have no job. I have nothing. Like I you know so I really at that time I was like man I'm starting from scratch all over. Um, and not only that, I just lost the family that I had, which was my military, you know, brothers and sisters. We had our master sergeants was like the dad and we have, you know what I mean? Think about it like like if you look at things from that aspect, like you had your your um depending on what rank you were, you know, you're I was a staff sergeant, so like I was the dad to the Arab.

Oh, it's like but you had like your family hierarchy, your family, right? you know, you you did everything with them, you know, woke up in the morning and did PT in the morning with with the guys and then went into work and then after work you went out and drank or whatever it was that you enjoyed doing and then the next day was the same thing. So, you're surrounding yourself with the same people over and over again. When you transition out of the military, you no longer have that, right?

You have yourself. Um, so for me that was a big like, you know, that was a big moment in my life that I was struggling with for a while because I said, you know, wow, like did I make the wrong choice of getting out of the military? And I heard all these voices inside my head over and over again from like the higher commanders, you know, the master sergeants and uh, first sergeant even had a conversation before I got out and they they all were saying, "Well, what are you going to do, you know, with yourself when you get out? this is your career, you're good at it.

Um, you know, I remember having he's like, "Try to sell me." You know, he he he and even meant it with like a a good heart, but right, you know, try to act as if I'm an employer. Try to sell yourself to me right now. And I didn't have a you know, I didn't know. I didn't have any thing to tell, you know, I tried. And he's like, "Yeah." He's like, "I wouldn't hire you." And I'm like, "So damn." I was like, "No."

PJ: He was being honest.

TJ: Yeah. Yeah. He he was trying to teach me that you can't just go in and say, you know, I was an aerospace ground equipment mechanic. Sure. B-52s. Yeah. Yeah. Hire me to do whatever. And so I got out and I actually applied for a job at a local candy factory when I had first gotten out and my mom worked there. So I was like, "Oh man, I'm a shoe for this position as a maintenance job." And um I applied and and I got an interview and I went in to do the interview and um they interviewed me and then they didn't they didn't give me the job.

They said uh I'm sorry that that right now you're just not the right fit for this position. And here I am. I've worked on millions and millions of dollars of the most expensive aircraft in the world. You know, I did finish up my career on F-22s.

PJ: Wow.

TJ: I started out on the B-52s. Um, you know, I've worked on a with the A-10s. I worked on the ground support equipment, but that was, you know, some of our like start carts and stuff were super expensive. Like just and everything in the military, you know, I seen something about $900 bag of screws, but that's how it was. Yeah. It was like like everything was was to that point. You had to safety wire the screws together like very deep and technical. And here I am. I applied for a job at the candy factory and and and I can't get a job for fixing a machine that runs a conveyor belt.

PJ: What a slap in the face.

TJ: Yeah, man. Thinking I'm a shoe and my mom worked there and I can't even get a job doing maintenance at a candy factory. So that even, you know, hit me even harder. I was like, "Oh my god, like now now what do I do?" Um, so that put me in a little bit of a depression, put me in a in in a slump. Um, but like I said, I stopped feeling sorry for myself one day. Um, I started what was really important and this this hopefully the listeners are listening to this for a reason.

What was really important to me is I started spending my downtime listening to to to people out there that were putting out good energy, good vibes into the world, you know, like Tony Robbins. Okay. and and you know the Ed Myletts and I mean there's just ton of them Dean Graziosi like there was just so many people out there that were putting out good energy putting out good vibes that were telling the truth about you know having to put in work having to put effort but at the same time letting you know that there is hope letting you know that that there's a bigger picture there are bigger things so I started doing that I started reading which I was not a reader my life I'll tell you like I probably read one book before I got out of the military which was like Indian in the Cupboard for some book project that I had to do while I was in school which has zero like I invite don't don't add me in the cover fans don't me on this one but remember the movie and I do remember yeah right but in in my recollection of the book it had no educational value going forward but hey it is what it is if you can break it down and tell me why it's fantastic But then I started reading books, you know. I started I I I I read just a plethora of different books. My favorite book of all time is called The Four Agreements.

PJ: Oh my god. Have you read the Fifth Agreement?

TJ: I I have it. There's one more. Yeah, there's a bunch. Mastery of Love. So good, man. Such great books. I've actually not only did I read those books, I've actually handed that book out to several clients that came through our program. And so I started I started focusing on putting good things into my mind, putting good things into my body, started listening to people that um you know were putting out good messages instead of allowing myself to put out the negative messages, allowing myself to focus on the people that were putting out negativity.

Yeah. So yeah, I like I said and then I made a decision. I said, you know what, this it's time I can do this. I've heard millions and millions of podcasts and and heard millions and millions of stories about people that were in a way worse situation than I did that made something in life. So I said, "Well, if they can do that from there, I can do that from here." So I I started focusing on energy. I started focusing on on on good vibes. I started focusing on um growth.

And um I went back to school. That was a major decision that I made is going back to school. And and it it served me well. did and you know put me in the position to get my foot in the door to the position that I'm in now. So I I

PJ: Dude, well you already hit one of my questions. Favorite book. No, I love that actually. Uh The Four Agreements is such a incredible book. Um I would highly recommend it to everyone and and I guess what we can do is we can put that in the uh description. Um really really good one. you know, your I was going to ask, you know, like what was it that pulled you out of that, you know, like who who introduced you or how did you even like turn your mind on to be able to to like open up to some of this content, you know, cuz you could have just as easily been like I mean, I've I've suggested things like Tony Robbins or or Ed Mylett or you know, some of these folks to to plenty of people and just had them be like, "Ah, that's not for me." What was it that turned your mind onto it?

TJ: Yeah, I don't remember exactly like who it was. I know there was a I was I was part of a mastermind group um in Utah. There was a group called Lions Not Sheep and there was a guy named Sean Whalen that had a book out that um was called How to Make Happen. And um it was a really small book and it was like maybe a paragraph like it was it wasn't it wasn't a long book but um he had these these elements in the book that he talked about called the core four and it was power passion purpose and production.

Um and the whole thought behind that was you know working out taking care of your body passion doing something you're passionate about. Yeah. um you know getting a better relationship with with your your your your god um and then purpose doing something p purposeful you know every day and this is daily task that you can do every day and in production was make some kind of money at some point you know it's very important in life um so I joined his group and and I met a bunch of other people but most importantly they started dropping these different people that you can follow and different books that you can read that helped out.

So, so like you said before, it was kind of a ripple effect. Yeah. Um and I started meeting a bunch of different people that were all on to different types of things, you know, whe whether they wanted to fix their relationships. Um you know, whether they wanted to uh get better at um you know, making more money in their career field or or attained it like they everybody was out for something bigger. And um that's kind of how then it just trickled from there. I started listening to to various podcasts.

Uh, you know, I said Emma's one that I love listening to. Um, you know, David Goggins, although he's a little bit much, he he has a great story and he does, you know, perseverance and and and putting in work to get to where he wants to be. Uh, Jesse Itzler, I like him a lot, too. He's he's got some good stuff. But, you know, Eric Thomas is probably the best motivational speaker there is. He's fantastic. But no, yeah, it's good. Put them on the list. So, yeah, I mean, I just I I just started listening to to different podcasts.

Um, what I did realize um in following a lot of these people is that, like I said, not everything is as it seems. Yeah. How about that? You got to really understand that. you know, it's really easy to to take a picture next to um you know, sports cars and jets, but there's a lot of hidden between those photos. So, um that's one thing I I always have to constantly remind myself like, you know, there's no matter what people are posting is there's always much more that's going on in the background that you just can't see.

Um so, I didn't idolize any of those people. At one time, I I looked at all of them and said, "Man, I wish my life was here." But um the more and more I learned is is that you know don't idolize another person. You know there's use some of the good but understand there's probably some bad in there too.

PJ: Yeah. Well comparison is the thief of all joy.

TJ: It is. It really is too. Yeah. And even to this day I still see like I and I think I think comparison is a normal thing. Like I Yeah. But I think it's being able to identify when you're comparisoning and really changing your mindset in in the moment that's really helpful. Um because to this day I still do it. You know, I see another organization that that got a you know $100,000 grant or something. I'm like, "Man, why why didn't we get that?" I'm like, "Well, you never even applied for this." Why would you like, you know, but they may be doing that, but they they may have other struggles that that that they're absolutely that you're not seeing.

Yeah. you know, even even some of these, you know, you look at some of these larger organizations, oh, they're killing it. They're killing it. But they they may have trouble making payroll, like, you know, you never know. and and vice versa. Like if you're doing the best for for what you you know, if you're doing the best for for you right now and for the people, if you're helping out others and and you're doing what you can, um I I I just I I don't I don't feel the need to compare myself to others as long as I'm trying to be a good human and and all that.

So that's big for me though is I think that's big for a lot of people is is that comparison thing. And it's so easy right now. Oh yeah. because this go Instagram, TikTok, you're like, "Oh, damn. Why am I like that?" That little computer that's in your hand can can really change the game for you. Um, it can put you into a positive mindset, but it can also put you into a negative mindset pretty fast. So, one of the things that I'll share with the people, a a tip, a trick that I've um learned is if you're scrolling on your newsfeed and you come across the same person that has three negative posts in a row, you got to unfollow. Either unfollow news. Yeah, I do.

PJ: Interesting. Oh, that's cool. It's a good tip.

TJ: Yeah. So I I and because you'll find those people that are just negative negative negative negative and if you keep your feed with that. So say you're a scroller and you scroll on. If you keep that in your feed that's just going to keep putting that in your head. So follow the people that are putting out good stuff. You know click the follow button on all those and they'll appear in your in your feeds. And if somebody's putting out negative negative negative just click snooze. You don't have to unfriend them. you don't have to I mean you can unfollow them but I do that because I'm like man if this person just I I just don't need this in the morning when I wake up and you know so just just a good tip you know you could not only on social media you can do that in your life too like if there's somebody that's always bringing you down there's probably a reason why they shouldn't be in in your life at that moment so you know there's a there's a beautiful um I don't know what you would call it um from Jim Rohn back in the day where he where he talks about Like you know if a friend of yours puts sugar in your coffee, what do you get?

Well, you get sweet coffee. But if a friend of yours puts stricken in your coffee, what happens? Doesn't matter if it's your friend or not. You're still going to be poisoned. You're still going to die. Yeah. You know, you got to stand guard at the gate of your mind, that's garbage in, garbage out.

PJ: 100%. And and it's identifying that, too, which is really challenging sometimes.

TJ: very challenging because some people can appear as though they're putting the sugar in, but they're actually putting the, you know, the poison in. So, you got to you got to watch that, you know, and but at the end of the day, like I I tell people like long as you're doing things with an open heart, things usually work out. Yeah. But there was like a a football show was he would say clear eyes, full full I don't even remember what it was called, but clear eyes, full heart, can't lose.

That was pretty dope. I like that. Long as you have clarity and and your heart's open, at the end of the day, you can't lose. And and even farther, so here's the cool thing, too. And so, say somebody crossed you, say you find somebody that tried to harm you that was a snake or or whatever it was. Instead of like looking at it in a negative direction, look at it in the positive. Oh, I found him now. I found out now when things weren't as important rather than keeping somebody for later on in my life that they could screw me over at a different point.

You know what I mean? Like so sometimes when I see people that are doing harm and stuff and say, "Oh, I'm glad I identified that now rather than later when it could have they could have got even closer. It could have blew up even farther." So even when people cross, you just look at that like, "Oh, I'm glad glad I figured that out now to where it was, you know, at a different moment in my life."

PJ: I like that. adding gratitude to situation.

TJ: Exactly. Like would you rather you know them would you rather be out in the open now? You know who you you're dealing with. You know what's happening or would you rather have to wait till later on like get it over with. I know I can't trust you and then that's cool. I'm not like move on to the next you know.

PJ: So going going back to like the transition now we talked about like what was the challenge at the time at the time? Mhm. Looking back what was something you actually struggled with? Like what was really actually probably the bigger struggle?

TJ: Um, like I loss of purpose. I think that was the the biggest struggle for me is loss of purpose, you know, loss of um when you're in the military, uh, a lot of people back home, they're they're proud of you, you know, they're like, "Oh, that's that's my son. He's serving in the military." Or, "That's my brother. He's serving in the military." Um, and you're also proud of yourself, right? Like, you know, he's I'm serving my country. um I was able to take care of this problem and and you know you're you're very proud of yourself and then when you get out when I got out anyway I can't speak of everybody but when I got out I lost that purpose I was no longer like I said I felt I was no longer serve my country I felt like I was no longer contributing to a higher thing um so for me I think the loss of purpose was really hard for me until I figured out that purpose is when my darkest moments were.

Yeah. And um now, you know, that I've figured out my purpose, which is to help people. Um right now, it's to help people who are struggling with homelessness. Uh later on, I I don't know what that's going to look like, but for now, I I think I rooted myself into that, helping out others. Um but back then, it was a real struggle for me because I was lost. I was confused. I I prayed on it, prayed on it, prayed on it. And you know, I'm not typically a patient person. One stop. I want it fast.

PJ: I'm with you on that one.

TJ: So, as I can see, PJ had an idea to create a podcast. He's got six cameras with lights everywhere. But I I'm not typically a patient person. I I like things to happen quickly for myself. But um at that moment in my life, God wanted me to develop some patience and and he he put me in, you know, I was in some hard times, but uh those hard times are what made me today. Yeah, there's 100% every everything that I went through is what made me a better person and uh it helped me with my patience. Now, I still struggle with that. I still struggle with that entirely.

PJ: But so I was going to ask, what is something you still struggle with or is there something?

TJ: Oh, yeah. There's plenty of things I struggle with. Patience is is definitely one of them. Um uh not jumping to conclusions, I think. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes I I uh even though I I have faith that things are going to work out, those negative thoughts come through my head. Sure. You know, like um it could be as simple as uh you know, walking down the street to come here. I was like, man, what if I slip and fall? I guess just little pigs, but it's like, you know, sometimes our brains are our brains are built that way.

Our brains are built that way. And and I think that's something that I struggle with sometimes, too, is I I I have faith that things are going to be well, but I also think too much about the possibilities of failure.

PJ: And how do you overcome that?

TJ: I have a good faith with with with my Lord. I I pray a lot. Um, I have a good supportive network where I can bump things off of and um, I think they allow me to see things about myself that I didn't see. I have a therapist. I I go to therapy once a month.

PJ: Um, which is a game changer about

TJ: Yeah, it is 100% finding somebody that I completely openly talk to without worrying about anything. Um, and my therapist, and I'm I don't know if everybody's is like this, but I really view my therapist also as like a a coach because he provides me with different things that can help me out successfully in my life, um, relationship, career, like like personal well-being, all kinds of things. So, you know, I I I think that's super important. So, therapy has helped me tremendously. Um, like I said, the people that I surround myself with, you know, I try to try to only keep certain I I try to very I try to limit myself in the amount of negative people I keep in my life.

So, I'm with you on that one. Um, and you're not going to maybe you can, but I haven't figured out a way to get rid of all of them, which I think is okay. I think yeah, you still need people in your life that kind of sees the other side of things, but um I try to limit them and I try to focus on the people that um you know have have good energy and can can veer me in the right direction, but I still struggle with that stuff. I think it's it's something that a lot of people struggle with.

PJ: Yeah. Well, thank you, you know, for bringing up the whole therapy thing, you know, like especially with this audience and and it might be changing and I hope it is changing, you know, but like I think especially in the past, there's been this big stigma 100%, you know, around like therapy and and quite honestly, it's like like you said, it's just someone that you can like openly talk to and maybe provide some insight on another side of things. And we as people are not really designed just to hold on to stuff. when we do, that's when like the anxiety and these negative thoughts, a lot of them really start creeping in.

I mean, I think that it's incredibly important to find that person that you can talk to. And a lot of us, you know, especially in the military, we have that sometimes with each other.

TJ: Yeah. We use each other as therapists sometimes. Like you, you know what's funny is going back to what you said with that stigma. You know, when before I used to think that people went to therapy were weak, right? Like I used to look at them like, "Oh man, you need a therapist? Like what's going on with you?" Right. But the the more the more I grow and the more I go, the more I realize that it's actually the stronger people that are going to therapy because they're opening up about their issues and they're working on solutions to fix them.

See, the weak people just don't they don't want to do that. They don't want to deal. It's just so hard. It's so hard to deal with these things that you're dealing with. The stronger people are saying, you know what, I have these issues and I'm going to deal with them. I'm going to figure out a way to face them face them. So realistically, you know, it it it's it's not the weak that that go to therapy. It's the strong people that go to therapy because they're looking at they're they're they're finally letting go of that fear and opening up, getting it out, and working on it, dude.

PJ: Beautifully said, man. I I mean, like, I can't tell you the number of proverbial porcupines I've had to swallow. And like, it's that's hard. That's the hard work right there.

TJ: Yeah. And opening up to your therapist, too, cuz like, you know, I think one of the first things he like, "No, there's nothing wrong, right?" Yeah. First thing Yeah. Exactly. the first things he said he's like you can come here and me all day long but you're not hurting anybody but yourself because at the end of the day I'm here to help you you know he's like then you're just talking so like when I go in there and I say oh man he's like what's going on today and I say ah this this this and this okay let's talk about it but yeah

PJ: cool as good yeah thank you for bringing that up man

TJ: yeah man it's important for people to know whoever out there is struggling with something and um you know is fearful that because of the stigma um I'm I'm I'm here to tell you that uh you're not weak for going to therapy. You are very strong for going to therapy and and I if you give it a chance uh it'll help your life like it helped my life. So, absolutely.

PJ: So, all right. Um man, you're you're setting me up with segways left and right, which is great. I appreciate that. So, like if you had to give like boil it all down and like give, you know, one or two key pieces of advice to someone going through transition, it doesn't necessarily have to be for the service member themselves. It could be their family, um, loved ones, whatever. Like, what would that be?

TJ: Um, I think one it it would definitely be, um, for me, what I could share with you guys that helped me a lot was diving into my higher power, which was my God. Um, there's a Jeremiah 29:11 like no eyes have seen, no ears have heard the things that are going to come for you. Um, so realize that those things are available. Those things are coming. It's just that you may not see the direction on how they go. Um, so for me has helped me a lot to kind of give up worry and put more faith into to my Lord.

Um, one of the other key pieces of advice is take a piece of paper and write down where you're at and where you want to go. uh and develop some sort of map um and try your very best I won't say that this won't happen but try your very best to follow that map. Um I think what a lot of people struggle with and and even me to this day is clarity. um we struggle with clarity on on on what what it is exactly that we want in life and where we want to go and and a lot of times if we don't have a map we're just kind of slapping stuff on a wall and it's very difficult to go here here yeah here when when it's really here going over some hurdles going over some hurdles and getting here so I think I think it's important that you know everybody tries to at least come up with some or type of map of where they want to be in life so they have the groundworks to get there.

Um, and it and one thing I will definitely say is it's okay if you don't know. Um, it's okay if you don't know. It's okay if you're trying to figure that out. And if it's it's okay if it changes as well. That's another thing that's so important. Like you don't have to stick to one thing. If if if you decide that you want to be a doctor and then you go to school for a couple years and you decide that's not for you, kind of like I did with criminal justice and you want to veer in a different direction, that's 100% okay as well.

It's your life and and and you're meant to get it how how how you imagine it. So don't feel bad if you have to change that math. But having a math is is is cool and important because I think a lot of people they uh they don't know where the that point is that they want to be in their life and you can't get to a place that you don't envision, you know. Uh the other thing is put good stuff in your mind. Like I said, that that's helped me a lot.

Um trying to stay away from the negative energy and put good things in, you know, read a little bit. If you you don't have to read anymore. I mean, to be honest with you, I think it's better, but there's so many audio books and so many things out there right now. Absolutely. I I drive about an hour to work every day and and I always have something. It's either a podcast or an audio book at all times. No, like I I'm saying very very rarely listen to music anymore.

Sometimes I'll I'll listen to some like meditation music or something, but for the most part, I would say 99% of the time I have some type of podcast on. It just puts good good seeds.

PJ: Good seeds. Yeah. And Tony calls that what? Uh, no extra time. The N.E.T. time probably.

TJ: Yeah, I' I've haven't listened to as many as I used to. I got a couple of his books, but um yeah, he he probably does. There's a I I know some people like to say keep planting seeds.

PJ: Oh. Oh my god, I love that. Yeah. So, he didn't like I didn't ask him to do that, by the way, but like that's like the number two is exactly what Prize is is about. Like it's about creating that map. And to your point, you know, like, and sorry for the quick plug, but I'm going to make a quick plug. The uh, you know, like the whole point here is like a map is completely useless. We're taught this in the military, right? Unless you know both where you are and where you're going.

And to your point, either or both of those can be very challenging for us to figure out. So like that that is precisely what we're developing with the app is like helping you figure out where you are, helping you figure out where you want to go, and then developing a map to get there and making it actionable. So thank you actually. That was awesome.

TJ: Yeah. Um, I didn't even know that's where cats.

PJ: Um, yeah, man. You already you already touched on it. Your favorite book. Um, I'll drop it in the notes, but uh, yeah, Miguel Ruiz. Um, he's got a bunch of good ones. There's a couple of good good ones. He has uh, The Toltec Wisdom is is

TJ: that's right. Toltec book. I've listened to it on audio several times. I've read it, you know, sitting there over and over. I've highlighted it.

PJ: Oh, yeah. My book is all marked up in the same way. And your favorite podcast was you said Eric.

TJ: Well, I I my favorite podcast is probably two different podcasts. One is the Ed Mylett Show. Um he posts he he posts that every Thursday and Tuesday, I believe. Um but then there's another one. It's called The Place of Change Ministry by Eric Thomas and TJ Tyus. Um where they do, you know, ministries every Sunday. So, I I really I really like that. But, um yeah, the Ed Mylett one's a great podcast. He's got some good good people that come on there and and give some some good solid information on on on how to help yourself. So,

PJ: Oh, he puts out some great vibes, man.

TJ: Oh, man. He's see him in person even a whole another Oh, yeah. Yeah. I've seen him speak like two or three times and and he's he's dynamic. He's a

PJ: I believe that. Um so last thing like what were if any like what were some resources that you tapped into throughout your transition that really helped you along the way?

TJ: Like resources?

PJ: Um yeah, like when you think like benefits, um nonprofits, you know, government agencies, uh communities,

TJ: I I tapped into every resource. um not not necessarily for me to like like get benefits or anything like that. My tapping into resources were more merely trying to understand what everybody did um and how it could benefit the people that I was going to encounter in my life. Um because I knew what I wanted to do. I knew that I I wanted to help people. And you know at the moment in my life now and the moment I was at I knew that it was more either somebody who was struggling with addiction issues or homelessness.

So I really focused on learning the resources for that. So like the county agencies were one what people a lot of people don't realize is um your county that you live in has sub agencies within there that is dedicated to helping you. Like there's in Northampton County, there's a drug and alcohol agency. There's an agency on mental health. There's an agency on aging. There's pretty much anything that you know somebody needs to to help them. So you can call up your counties and say, "Hey, I'm struggling with this." And they could point you in the right direction.

Um that was one. I mean I mean I know a lot of different treatment providers in the area uh because I needed a connection. I needed a a book of resources that I can connect to if somebody need help getting into some type of treatment. So, I'll just call them, hey, can you help me? No. Okay, cool. Can you help me? That's the other thing. Closed door isn't necessarily a closed opportunity. It's just a closed door for it's temporary. Yeah. You know, you can find another find another way.

There's always a way to find another way. So, for me, like a lot of the resources out there were just that. Um but also with with resources I think we don't think about it as much but resources can be people as well.

PJ: Absolutely.

TJ: you know, and and I think sometimes we focus on agencies and organizations, but realistically sometimes it's just the right person that you can call on. PJ, for example, you know, I know if I have judging by this room, I know if I have any tech stuff that I need all, I can call PJ. even even more of a you know as a veteran and as somebody else that's been through a lot in in in your life and that's somebody that really uh what I like about you is is that you seem to be focused on the same things that I'm focused on you know um you know especially when it comes to you know like you said Tony Robbins you do a lot of stuff with them and everything so if I need some advice on you know my mindset and things like that I could always call you up for that stuff so it doesn't always have to be organizations and nonprofits it could just be people that that no matter where you're at that can help coach you to get to there or people that can help point you in the right direction. So, I think that's really important as well is sometimes it's just knowing that person, you know.

PJ: Yeah, man. Well, thank you for that. Um, where can people find you?

TJ: Um, you can find me on on IG. Uh, on IG, I think I'm Flip it Collectibles. Um, my main jam is Facebook. Uh, TJ Carson on Facebook. Um, I have a LinkedIn account, too. It's Thomas J. Carson. Like the seventh Thomas Carson, so that's why everybody calls me TJ. Okay. Okay. They said Tom at our house. Everybody Everybody's got a different nickname. Um, but I'm Thomas J. Carson on LinkedIn. Um, I also have a uh a little website. It's on phone sites. It's called a digital business business card.

Um, I think it's just TJ Carsonites.com. Cool. It's just like a little digital business card that you can like tap on your phone and it'll pop up. Oh, nice. Pretty dope. But yeah, so also like like some of you know there's a lot of there's been a lot of different podcasts and interviews and things on Google. You know, I've done a lot of different things. So, but my main jam is Facebook. Good plug for Meta, but my main jam is Facebook. Um, you know, if you guys want to find me on there, uh, I'd love to connect with everybody. So,

PJ: cool, man. Yeah, we'll drop all that in the show notes and everything.

TJ: You got my email as well.

PJ: Okay. Are you cool with that?

TJ: Yeah, 100%.

PJ: All right. I mean, you can have all kinds of people hitting you up.

TJ: Yeah, that's cool. If if I can help, I can help. If I don't get back to you right away, I understand, right? Busy man.

PJ: Well, hey, thank you all for stopping by. Um, thank you for coming on the show, brother. That has been huge. You know, please, you know, take the time to subscribe. We're going to be dropping a lot more episodes like this. Again, if you have any suggestions for how we can make this better for people that we can have on the show or, you know, questions that we could ask to help you all out, drop them in the comments. Happy to help in any way we can. Thank you, brother.

TJ: Thanks. Mhm.